How Hypnotherapy can help when Counselling or CBT fails to work:
How Hypnotherapy can help when Counselling or CBT fails to work:
When Counselling or CBT haven’t helped you – it is likely that the type of Hypnotherapy that I use will help:
How Hypnotherapy can help when Counselling or CBT fails to work:
When Counselling or CBT haven’t helped you – it is likely that the type of Hypnotherapy that I use will help:
It can seem daunting choosing a hypnotherapist when you know nothing about hypnotherapy. It can seem expensive and how do you know it will work?
Here are five ways to choose your hypnotherapist:
The best way to know this is to take the free consultation that most hypnotherapists offer:
Do they appear to understand your issue and does what they propose seem viable?
Are they talking about a solution tailored for your specific needs or do you get the impression they will offer some generic approach?
Asking their “success rate” won’t really help. No hypnotherapist in business long term should have a low success rate! The bulk of our business comes from referrals from satisfied clients.
This session was not with me – personally I charge £180 for three sessions to ensure that we don’t just put you off.
I work with people to find out why they suck 4000 poisons into their body and help them find strategies to stop.
If the approach is tailored to your perceived needs around smoking then you will stop.
The main reason why hypnotherapy fails with smoking cessation is that the client isn’t really ready to stop!
So you need to be motivated beyond your partner/doctor is asking you to stop.
The reason the enquirer had failed to stop was because she was genuinely not ready to stop. The second reason was that she had had a single session.
80% WILL quit in the first session or dramatically reduce their smoking.
If that session misses the reasons why they smoke then if that trigger happens again it is likely they will weaken and smoke.
You need strategies to tackle those triggers.
This is why a course works better – even if you stop straight away.
If you are highly motivated to tackle ANY issue then an experienced hypnotherapist will craft a hypnotherapy session that will either work for you or narrow the focus to find the real reasons for the issue.
The reasons for a session failing are generally:
Personally speaking I won’t know until I talk to a person face to face, by phone or Skype. There is no one size fits all. Each client requires a different approach.
Take weight loss for instance:
We have known since 1917 that diets don’t work long term because nobody wants to be on a diet forever and the moment they go back to their old way if eating is the moment the weight loss fails.
I need to understand why the person overeats?
We need to tackle the drivers which may include:
This is a small selection and combinations of the above plus other factors.
We can only find out by working together and also discovering the sources, in some cases, that established the habitual eating.
A business consultant once told me that with my experience I should immediately double my fee. I had worked in Harley street where a chunk of the fee went to cover rent, parking, and travel!
This meant that I often ended working with people who could afford these fees, which excluded many people, or people paying fees they couldn’t afford.
My fees I believe are fair and are in the middle of the market. There are far less experienced people who charge much more than I do!
It is also odd that people will consider £60 (for instance) as expensive when they will spend that much at a hairdressers for something that will make them feel better but won’t last instead of to a hypnotherapist who may change their life ..
People will also spend a lot a gym for their physical health while not being prepared to spend on their mental health.
It’s a fact that 1 in 3 of us will need help with mental health issues.
Yet many will soldier on when there is a remedy available.
Your time with your hypnotherapist is not the only time spent working in your issue. Personally I will spend an hour or more preparing your session based on our long initial conversation.
I will record your treatment live and then edit and clean it up before sending it to you.
You then have your treatment forever and can always come back to it at any time you feel that you are ‘slipping.’
Cost factors in the time you don’t see as well as the time spent face to face.
Again personally speaking a session can last from 1 to 2 hours depending on the time required. As well as the behind the scenes time
Does my hypnotherapist seem to care about me and my issue and have a treatment plan that seems realistic?
Does it feel right?
Do I like and trust them?
Do they have the relevant qualifications and experience?
A hypnotherapist should be a member of a hypnotherapy register such as the GHR (General Hypnotherapy Register) and will be regulated by the GHSC (General Hypnotherapy Standards Council).
They will undergo CPD (Continuing Professional Development) each year to keep skills up to the mark.
A good hypnotherapist will know some history of hypnosis and will understand why they do what they do and how it works.
Not every issue that comes to a hypnotherapist is one that they can deal with!
There are a bewildering number of mental health issues. Some we are legally obliged NOT to treat such as epilepsy and schizophrenia.
Some we may not have the relevant experience or training to approach. A good hypnotherapist will refer you to a relevant specialist.
Hope this helps! Bottom line: talk to your hypnotherapist and meet them!
Graham Howes Advanced Hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner. Certified Weight Loss Professional. Trained in PTSD and Psychological Trauma. PLR FLR and Regression therapist.
CNHC approved (Gold standard of complementary practitioners)
TEL: 01473 879561 Mob: 07875720623 Skype grahamhowes1
GHR registered GHSC regulated
Gastric band hypnosis is a hypnosis treatment for weight loss. This treatment is sometimes also referred to as ‘hypno gastric band’, ‘virtual gastric band’, mind band, or ‘gastric band surgery hypnosis’. It is a branch of weight loss hypnotherapy that was initially just aimed at clients with obesity issues.
It turns out that it is effective across the board if you want to slim without yet another slimming approach that only works short term.
We have known since 1917 that diets usually fail – that is because it is difficult to stick to a diet regime and gimmicky approaches get boring.
You are probably here because you want to lose some weight and are weighing up your options.
You might also have tried everything else and are looking for a radically different approach.
I have written this blog about the hypnotic gastric band for you so that you can find out what this treatment involves and decide it may be for you.
Gastric band hypnotherapy is a powerful hypnotic suggestion program that convinces your unconscious mind that your stomach is already full, although, in reality, the portion size was smaller than usual.
It teaches the mind to recognise “feeling full” again.
It mimics Bariatric surgery without having to have real surgery,
The hypno gastric band is a natural alternative to expensive surgery which, like all medical interventions, comes with risks to life as well as potential benefits.
Real weight loss surgery could cost up to £10,000 to you or to the NHS.
I have seen real gastric band patients who had bariatric surgery but didn’t tackle why they overeat – so were desperately trying to cheat the system.
Have a look below and complete a list of twenty questions that will help you establish whether your weight loss issues fall into the bracket of conscious eating issues, or whether you might be an emotional eater.
Generally speaking, people for whom weight loss hypnosis is suitable, fall into two categories:
The first group are people who want to lose up to around stone in weight whose weight issues simply come down to a lack of conscious eating.
The second group are people who come with a bigger weight issue that may have been going on for many years and is underpinned by emotional eating issues.
Below you will find two sets of questions that can help you identify where you fall on the spectrum.
Finding out where you fit in is important because that will determine what your weight loss hypnosis treatment should focus on and how it should be structured.
Those who overeat because of a lack of conscious eating would typically answer ‘no’ to the majority of the following set of conscious eating questions, and ‘no’ to the majority of the set of emotional eating questions below.
Those with emotional eating issues would typically answer ‘no’ to the majority of the conscious eating questions, and ‘yes’ to the majority of the emotional eating questions below.
Both groups can lose weight by hypnosis.
See below which group you belong to.
If you are an emotional eater and concerned about your weight gain, you can lose weight by hypnosis.
The more of these questions you answered with ‘yes’, the more you are on the emotional eating side of the spectrum. Find out below what that means.
The more questions you answered with ‘no’, the more you may benefit from weight loss through hypnosis.
From these two sets of questions you can begin to appreciate that weight loss hypnosis views issues with excess weight as a complex issue that involves the mind and emotions as much as the body.
We start developing our relationship with food during infancy where we learn how hunger feels in the body, how to ask (cry) for food, how to ingest food (fast or slow), how to sense when we have enough, and feel satisfied after a meal.
As our relationship with food develops throughout childhood, we often pick up bad habits from parents and carers. One such bad habit, which often features in weight loss hypnosis is the habit to get emotional needs met through ingesting food. Bad habits can become deeply ingrained and can be hard to shake. The inner toddler stamps their foot and demands to be fed!
Weight loss hypnotists, in designing a treatment protocol, will want to have a detailed consultation with you to evaluate where you fall on this spectrum and what your particular needs are. The design of your program will be based on this consultation.
If you veer towards the conscious eating side of the spectrum your practitioner will recommend working with suggestion hypnotherapy to help your unconscious mind get on top of cravings, motivation for exercise, starting to eat slowly and really listening to your body’s signals. The idea would also be to understand WHY you overeat.
If you veer towards the emotional eating side of the spectrum, as well as the above issues, your practitioner will likely recommend some work utilising regression hypnosis, where present day issues are resolved by revisiting the source experience and dealing with the associated emotions that might be driving cravings or using food as a tranquilliser.
Using hypnotic regression your weight loss hypnotist will help you revisit source experiences in an easy and very doable way so you do not become overwhelmed. They will help you make sense of those experiences, re-interpret them from an adult’s perspective and feel the associated emotions in hypnosis where they are bearable so that you can let them go, learn from them if necessary, and move on with your life.
It’s important for you to understand from the start that weight loss is a complex issue which does not resolve overnight.
As a rule of thumb, the more you veer towards the emotional eating side of the spectrum, the more long term you can expect the work to be.
On the plus side, hypnotherapy does not involve the same regular expenditure that you would have to plan for typically weekly psychotherapy sessions.
Typically, your practitioner will suggest regular sessions. They may be spaced weekly.Initial sessions may be longer.
Later sessions will be shorter as they may be focused on maintenance.
Depending on how much weight you want to lose, plan hypnosis into your life for at least a few months, and for up to two years.
Remember, the approach is to lose weight gradually and naturally, at your own pace. Give your mind and body time to adjust at every step.
Yes, hypnosis can be more costly than other weight loss programs. I charge £260 for a four part course with a fifth session available if you are slipping. The upside is that you are less likely to yoyo diet and have to go on yet another diet with this approach as this is NOT a gimmicky dieting approach.
The first thing to consider, however, is what you get from HypnoGastricBand Weight Loss Hypnosis
Generally speaking, I would suggest that gastric band hypnosis is an ideal part of a hypnosis weight loss program for someone who:
Gastric band hypnosis is the ‘Rolls Royce’ approach in the portfolio of a weight loss hypnotist. It gives the weight loss program the edge
Having said all that, there is nothing that precludes someone with a conscious eating issue to include the powerful hypno gastric band in their weight loss program.
If you feel drawn to gastric band hypnosis, it may be just the thing for you.
Like any other hypnosis program, gastric band hypnosis starts with deep mental and physical relaxation protocol that aims to get you as relaxed as possible – all clients enjoy this!
Once you are deeply relaxed, the hypnotist uses a powerful suggestion based approach. This is based around agreed strategies with the client – so it comes from you and is allied to extensive experience. I have for instance been offering this approach since 2010.
In session one we put in place strategies to handle the drivers for overeating and motivate weight management
Session two is often about making adjustments and establishing mindfully eating and carefully shopping.
Session three is the regression session where we regress to cause but also help you dump all the emotional baggage that might be blocking you in Life
Session four is the Hypno Gastric Band “operation” where we pretend to your unconscious mind that you are undergoing laproscopic gastric banding surgery.
This lap band surgery places a gastric band around the upper part of the stomach creating a pouch and establishes a level of stricture that curbs the appetite.When the food hits the obstruction it sends a signal to the hypothalamus to stop eating. The food then passes normally through the band and is digested as normal.
The basic underlying concept here is that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and imagination. If you can convince your unconscious mind that you can do something, then your unconscious mind will deliver success.
To convince your unconscious mind, your hypnotist may even use smells and sounds you would associate with a hospital setting.
This will be combined with implanting powerful post hypnotic suggestions to the effect that, from now on, your stomach will only be able to eat small portions.
Often you have a session in reserve if there are any changes in your life that upset our work.
There are many success stories of people who have lost weight with gastric band hypnosis, for example this one here which was featured in the Daily Mirror.
Firstly, gastric band hypnosis used on its own in a once off session may not be enough to help you overcome your weight issue.
It is best used as part of a comprehensive weight loss hypnosis program which addresses all aspects of your weight issue in a way that’s tailor-made for you as an individual.
Secondly, you mustn’t take the idea of the gastric band completely literally.
What do I mean by that?
The virtual gastric lap band surgery will be performed in a hypnotic trance state so that the suggestions will sink into your unconscious mind.
If they sink in even just a small bit, your unconscious mind helps you lose weight by directing you towards eating much smaller portions. Maybe half of what you usually eat. Which means you will lose weight.
Do not expect that your conscious mind will be convinced that you have actually undergone surgery. It won’t be. It doesn’t have to be. That is not what matters in the process.
Instead, you’ll change your mind set and expectations to look at the virtual gastric band as a tool, as a means to an end.
What matters are the effects of the treatment on the unconscious mind and the changes you make to your diet post treatment.
When you adopt this pragmatic mind set, you are better equipped to get the best out of your treatment because you won’t get side tracked by your mind’s inbuilt censors ‘evaluating’ how realistic the session was for you.
“At sixty, my doctor told me I needed a heart bypass. He urged me to lose weight starting from before the surgery date. That was easier said than done. I had been overweight for most of my adult life. I’m a ‘foodie’. I enjoy cooking and trying out new recipes. I enjoy inviting friends over for dinner. What to do?
A friend told me about weight loss hypnosis and I decided to give it a try. I was full of doubt whether it would do anything, and I didn’t notice much initially.
The gastric band session made all the difference. It was after that I started finding my way. I continued to eat what I enjoy, but I started eating smaller portions, and I started- for the first time in my life- to really chew my food, to take my time and enjoy every bite.
The first week after the gastric band hypnosis I lost four pounds and I continued losing weight from then on. I now maintain my weight and don’t need maintenance sessions.”
“After I had children, I became an emotional eater, always grazing, especially in the evenings after the children were in bed. There was an emptiness inside me and I was trying to fill it. I put on a lot of weight over the years. I tried various weight loss programs and I would lose weight, but it never lasted long. Eventually I tried hypnosis. I lost five stone after the virtual hypno gastric band.
This work will be spread out over an extended period of time, which allows sufficient time for both body and mind to adjust to the changes made. Regular weekly sessions are ideal. They allow for regular top-ups while also spreading out the cost of the treatment over a longer period of time.
For gastric band hypnosis to work for you, importantly, you’ll have to like working with hypnosis as a method.
There are a number of blogs I’ve written that can help you gain a clear picture of what hypnotherapy treatments are like and how you might benefit.
Skype Worldwide: grahamhowes1
Landline: 01473 879561
In our very stressful world we sometimes self medicate with food, or comfort eat, when we are stressed, bored, or anxious – we sometimes get “food addiction.”
The short term snack which is often very high in fat sugar or salt which gives us a feeling of comfort.
This comfort rapidly wears off so we can feel the need to repeat the comfortable experience. Before we know it the family sized chocolate bar / crisps / cake / ice cream are eaten. Then we feel guilty: “WHY did I do that!?”
We know full well that foods high in fat sugar and salt can be incredibly harmful and could lead to heart trouble, type 2 diabetes, cancer, osteoarthritis and back pain as we put the system under strain. You only have to think of carrying even a few stone of fat in rucksacks worn front and back for a few hours of activity like walking up stairs or even running and you get the picture of where obesity can really harm us. I am only scratching the surface but don’t need to labour the point!
A diet won’t address the underlying issues of why you overeat binge pick and nibble or comfort eat. So when you fail or give up and go back to the “normal” eating which includes sugary faty salty snacks the wight comes back and then some!
Many studies have demonstrated this since the first known study in 1917 exposed the problems with dieting.
Really you have to deal with WHY you are overeating.
Then you need to put simple weight management strategies in place and stop obsessing about small amounts of pounds gained or lost or calories or sins.
All of this leads to a bad relationship with food and we need to establish a good relationship, get some form of exercise that you might enjoy, eat well, good food, decrease portion size AND feel full.
Address boredom, anxiety and stress with strategies.
In other words it is easy and doesn’t need elaborate gimmick diets!
Add in the HypnoGastricBand which makes you feel fuller sooner and we have developed an approach together that can be permanent in helping you Manage your Weight AND Your Life better.
Client case studies:
I had one client with a badly organised boss who would seemingly pop his head around the door every 30 minutes or so with a: “This needs to be done NOW!!!” The trouble was there were already about 5 things with “absolute priority.” My client had her secret weapon – her Curly Wurly drawer and she would reach for her favourite sweet to “give her energy” and “get her through.”
She was now almost 30 stone.
We worked on how to deal with the stress. I half jokingly suggested she send her boss fo a session on prioritising. We looked at how to NOT use a sugary fatty chocolate snack as self medication. We dealt with underlying anxiety. I persuaded her to have an honest conversation with her boss.
We realised that otherwise she was on track for possible type 2 diabetes as well as possible osteoarthritis and cardiac problems. The RDA fo sugar is six teaspoons per DAY. Her Curly Wurly had NINE teaspoons of sugar in just one bar!
Another client was “addicted” to jelly babies and we tried to find the source of this “addiction”. Actually it was a similar habitual response to the above. We uncovered through hypnosis a long forgotten incident when her parents were gong through a tough time and she picked up on their anxiety aged 8 and got very anxious and weepy.
She recalled her Mother leaning over her in a red gingham frock. She was 8 years old and sitting in the garden in the sun. Her Mother gave her a huge bag of jelly babies and said: ” Never mind darling .. you eat these jelly babies any time you feel anxious and you’ll feel a whole lot better!”
I suggested that she was no longer 8 years old and didn’t need to make that choice now. I also gave her some practical suggestions to streamline her Barrister’s practice.
She got back to me a year later saying:
“I have FINALLY reached target weight and size. But that is almost a side issue now, as my business is flourishing, and I feel a great deal happier. Clients are using my services more because they know that I get things done.
Clients names protected under client confidentiality requirement
Food addiction is really just a bad habit that seems to address a perceived problem such as stress boredom of anxiety, to name but three. However we can learn to ignore the blandishments of two for one,
We can learn strategies that deal with the anxiety stress or boredom that don’t involve compulsively eating (and/or drinking) to excess.
We are not addicts – it has simply been a coping habitual strategy.
If you were truly an addict you would wake up in the middle of the night with an acute craving. That happens very rarely!
We can do better with our eating and lose the weight and feel happier.
Appointments in Ipswich Suffolk, Home visits in Essex. Skype or FaceTime Worldwide and Nationwide.
Tel: 01473 879561 07875720623
What is insomnia and how do we treat it?
Do you have trouble getting a good night’s sleep? Do you have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep? You are not alone! One third of adults in the United Kingdom experience occasional sleep problems and one out of every ten suffers from chronic insomnia.
Most people think of insomnia as a condition where people can’t fall asleep but it is so much more. There are many people that have no problem falling asleep easily but wake up during the night and find it difficult to get back to sleep. There are many kinds of insomnia. You might actually be getting a sufficient amount of sleep but you still wake up tired and groggy in the morning. Perhaps your mind is too busy worrying to get sufficient rest. Since sleep is one of the pillars of life, it is very important that we get the best sleep possible.
It is true that sleep is a pillar of life. We need good sleep to feel energetic and alert. What’s even more important is that while we’re sleeping our bodies perform a variety of essential restorative tasks, including healing and repair, detoxification, repairing cellular damage and searching out and destroying foreign invaders. Sleep is so powerful that it restores the proper levels of brain chemicals thus playing an essential role in emotional well-being.
A lack of sleep wears down the body, resulting in a lower immune capacity of the body, which increases susceptibility to disease, obesity, and premature aging. There is absolutely no question that getting enough sleep and getting good quality sleep is vitally important for optimal physical, mental and emotional health and wellbeing.
There is a myth about sleep that we all have heard. That myth is that we need eight hours of sleep per night. The reality is that depending on your body type, you may be a person that needs just 6 hours of sleep or you may be a person that needs 9 hours of sleep or a person that falls somewhere in that range. The bottom line is you must make it a priority to get sufficient, restorative and healing sleep. It’s one of the most important habits you can cultivate for your health and your happiness.
Hypnotherapy helps you to learn how to sleep again. I have been cited by sleep clinics as expert in insomnia. We also look at the reasons we might not be sleeping: eating patterns, depression, anxiety, stress and mindset to name but a few.
FREE CONSULTATION 07875720623
Graham Howes Advanced Hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner and Sleep expert
Hypnotherapy in Ipswich Suffolk
Erectile Dysfunction is the inability to achieve, or alternatively to maintain, an erection.
This is sometimes linked with the inability to orgasm called Anorgasmia.
Medication, drug use, smoking, heart disease, diabetes or surgery can also affect the ability to achieve or maintain an erection or achieve orgasm.
Those are the physical reasons.
Then there are the psychological issues which are just as powerful:
One in three of us have Mental Health issues at some time in our Life. Many people pay more attention to their physical health and nutrition than they do to their mental health. Mental wellness is just as important as physical wellbeing. Learning to be mindful helps you deal with stress, anxiety depression. The self medication associated with mental distress or discomfort often leads to weight gain or using drugs or smoking or abuse of alcohol which can lead to knock on effects such as ED. Smoking has been shown to be a contributory factor in erectile dysfunction. Drugs and alcohol have been long known to affect performance.
Hypnosis and NLP combined can help deal with the source of the problem and the cravings and habits that evolve to cope with the issue.
Weight issues have a physical effect on the body. Eating junk food can lead to depression and anxiety. There are known issues with too much fat, for instance, impacting the ability of the blood to adequately supply the organs including the penis.
Body Dysmorphia Dysfunction (BDD) or poor body image can lead to a lack of confidence in our appearance and a reluctance to be naked wit another person.
Stress and financial pressures leads to worry and anxiety which impacts the ability to be sexually confident.
A Doctor friend dealing with a couple’s inability to achieve pregnancy noticed bruising around their belly buttons. Both were as it turned out still virgins because they had been told that babies were made by “rubbing belly buttons together.”
This may seem beyond belief but some people still come from sheltered backgrounds.
Some Beliefs can impact what is considered “normal.” For example: The notion that sex is ONLY for procreation could lead to a sense of guilt.
There is a lot of legitimate concern about unprotected sex leading to an STI or pregnancy even in monogamous relationships. Using condoms can lead to a decrease in sensitivity possibly leading to a loss of erection. These factors too can impact sex life.
Shyness of lack of confidence can lead to embarrassment – so for instance a demand that the light be turned off prior to making love. This removes one aspect of sexual enjoyment because sex is partly visual as well as physical and aural.
Guilt about enjoying sex – a couple I treated had been “caught” when a very young couple and feared getting caught again – so sex had become a rushed and furtive affair.
Sexual abuse, Physical and Domestic abuse, or trauma, even PTSD, can affect negatively an individual’s ability to trust and give themselves over to making love.
Unresolved issues such as lack of trust or fundamental disagreements will affect such an intimate time.
Many couples who have problems outside of the bedroom also experience problems in the bedroom.
All encompassing issues might include:
Lack of connection with your partner
Poor communication of sexual needs and preferences
Infidelity or breach of trust
Intimate partner violence
Relationship Boredom – getting stuck in a ritual of a procedure of making love instead of being in the moment and aiming to pleasure the other partner. Perhaps over the long term love making has become stale,
Anorgasmia affects both Men and Women – despite adequate sexual stimulation the person is unable to achieve orgasm / a climax. 10% of men might be affected but the majority are Women who may have NEVER had an orgasm or find it difficult to achieve one.
An orgasm is a feeling of intense physical and mental pleasure and release of tension, accompanied by involuntary, rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. But it doesn’t always look — or sound — like it does in the films. The earth shaking orgasm is not as common as the magazines or media would have us think!
However a really satisfactory love life can be achieved with training or dealing with the issues with a trained Hypnotherapist using hypnosis and NLP.
Anorgasmia is the medical term for regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, causing you personal distress. Anorgasmia is a common occurrence, affecting a significant number of women but also men.
Orgasms vary in intensity, and women vary in the frequency of orgasms and the amount of stimulation required to trigger an orgasm. Actually, most women don’t consistently have orgasms with vaginal penetration alone. Foreplay and sexual stimulation outside of penetration are often required. Orgasms can often change with age, medical issues or medications you’re taking.
If you’re happy with the climax of your sexual activities, there’s little need for concern.
However, if you’re bothered by either the complete lack of orgasm, or the intensity of your orgasms, initially talk to your doctor about the physical effects on Anorgasmia or Erectile Dysfunction.
I can help with the psychological dimension. A high percentage of the time it is largely psychological but you should ensure with a medical professional that there isn’t an underlying physical problem.
I will work with you in a complementary way to the Medical Professional, to resolve the psychological challenges.
30% of the population suffer from ED or Anorgasmia at some time.
70% of men suffer ED at some point in life.
Statistics vary on the extent of the problem of anorgasmia in men, but approximately 10 percent of men report problems with orgasms. 70% will suffer ED at some point in life connected with psychological issues or physiological ones.
For some men, the disorder presents itself in terms of an inability to reach climax only during sexual intercourse. They may find that when masturbating they can still achieve orgasm. In such cases, it is often possible for orgasm to be reached, but only after prolonged and intense non-intercourse stimulation.
Primary anorgasmia is the term used for men who have never experienced an orgasm, while secondary anorgasmia identifies men who have experienced an orgasm in the past but are now unable to reach orgasm.
It is estimated that around 90 percent of anorgasmia problems are related to psychological issues. Surveys point to performance anxiety as the number one psychological problem.
Performance anxiety in this context is not necessarily related to “staying power,” or duration of intercourse, but may relate more to attempts to “will” a state of sexual arousal, which in turn leads to a cycle of increasing anxiety. A man may be able to achieve an erect penis but be unable to sustain the erection. Sexual activity with a partner can take on a sense of being a chore, which increases guilt and distress.
Other psychological problems, such as stress, anxiety, depression, or lack of confidence, can be helped with a hypnotherapist. Other causes may be rooted in the development of negative attitudes towards sex, sometimes from childhood. There is also a relationship between anorgasmia and childhood and adult sexual abuse or rape. Again Hypnosis and NLP can help with that.
Marital strife and boredom within a relationship coupled with a perception of a monotonous sex life are also known psychological contributory factors.
The way an orgasm feels varies from woman to woman, and and in an individual woman, it even differs from orgasm to orgasm.
The major symptoms of anorgasmia are inability to experience orgasm or long delays in reaching orgasm. But there are different types of anorgasmia:
Lifelong anorgasmia. This means you’ve never experienced an orgasm.
Acquired anorgasmia: You used to have orgasms, but now experience difficulty reaching climax.
Situational anorgasmia: You are able to orgasm only during certain circumstances, such as during oral sex or with a certain partner. You may only reach orgasm through masturbation. Most women actually can’t reach orgasm through vaginal penetration alone – so physical stimulation of the clitoris is also necessary.
Generalised anorgasmia: You aren’t able to orgasm in any situation or with any partner.
Despite what you see in the media, orgasm is no simple, sure thing. This pleasurable peak is actually a complex reaction to many physical, emotional and psychological factors. If you’re experiencing trouble in any of these areas, it often affects your ability to orgasm. If you aren’t emotionally committed to a person and in a relationship the orgasm will have a different quality.
A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can interfere with orgasm:
Medical diseases. Any illness can affect this part of the human sexual response cycle, including diabetes and neurological diseases, such as multiple sclerosis.
Gynecological issues. Orgasm may be affected by gynecologic surgeries, such as hysterectomy or cancer surgeries. In addition, lack of orgasm often goes hand in hand with other sexual concerns, such as vaginal dryness in menopause, cystitis or uncomfortable or painful intercourse.
Medications. Many prescription and over-the-counter medications can interfere with orgasm, including blood pressure medications, antihistamines and antidepressants — particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).
Alcohol and smoking. Too much alcohol can cramp your ability to climax; the same is true of smoking, which can limit blood flow.
The ageing process. As you age, normal changes in your anatomy, hormones, neurological system and circulatory system often affect your sexuality. A tapering of oestrogen levels during the transition to menopause can decrease blood flow to the vagina and clitoris, which can delay or stop orgasm entirely. Vaginal dryness can make intercourse painful.
If you’re experiencing difficulty reaching orgasm, it can be frustrating for you and your partner. Plus, concentrating on climax can make the problem worse.
Most couples aren’t experiencing the headboard-banging, earth-shaking sex that appears on TV and in the movies. So try to reframe your expectations. You could focus on mutual pleasure, from moment to moment, instead of making the orgasm the be all and end all. You may find that a sustained pleasure plateau is just as satisfying as orgasm.
We can look at your individual psychological and sexual issues and reframe them and help you reconnect with your sensual self.
If you have had a time in your life when you were enjoying a happy and successful sex life we can reconnect with that.
We can teach the unconscious those things it doesn’t know.
We can deal with underlying issues such as fear, depression, or anxiety, trauma or lack of confidence.
We can start to see ourselves as a sexual being again with the capability of gaining and sustain an erection and achieving climax.
We can practice Pelvic Floor Exercises – 6 second contractions with feet turned in to each other and then turned out. 6 repeats of that. Then hold a contraction for 20 seconds.
Perfect your technique. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for three seconds, and then relax for three seconds. Try it a few times in a row. When your muscles get stronger, try doing Kegel exercises while sitting, standing or walking.
Managing your anxiety with hypnosis and NLP
Anxiety is when we fear that something might happen with no guarantee that it will actually happen. Most of my clients for anxiety rarely find that the predicted problem actually happens. It is easy to imagine that the “light at the end of the tunnel” is a train coming in the opposite direction.
Hypnosis and NLP combined can help reframe our responses and stop the anxious feeling before they escalate to stopping us from taking action to resolve the worry.
I will help you retrain yourself to stop seeing massive problems and start viewing them as challenges to be overcome.
It is possible ..
Hypnotherapy for Anxiety in Ipswich Suffolk
Dieting a thing of the past?
You may have seen the HypnoGastricBand in the news over the last few years? I was an early adopter of the weight loss system. This new approach to weight loss has been highly successful.
It isn’t a diet because UCLA research shows mostly diets eventually fail and people just put the weight back on.
This 4 part course addresses why you overeat, motivates you to lose weight and ‘fits’ a virtual gastric band. You notice when you are full and stop eating. You put some practical weight management in place.
Best of all you STOP calorie counting and getting OCD about ‘pounds lost this week!’
The 4 part Course costs £260 and is tailored to you as an individual. As it is holistic if your eating is driven by things like stress, anxiety, boredom, depression, trauma, eating disorder, BDD or anything else we will find a strategy.
Call or Text Graham for a FREE CONSULTATION 07875720623
Stop Smoking for good
I am an Advanced Hypnotherapist, NLP and certified HypnoGastricBand Weight Loss practitioner.
Why is that important for stopping smoking?
Most people fail to quit smoking because they don’t also address why they feel a need to smoke. New research shows that for long term stopping smoking the best way is a course which puts you off but also helps you keep the weight off. Many people substitute eating for smoking and that’s because they didn’t address what the craving was addressing – is it stress relief, boredom, related to an activity such as having a pint?
Each smoker has their own INDIVIDUAL reasons why they smoke and I will help you find strategies to address that “need” instead of inhaling 4000 poisons into your system.
Ask yourself: If I gave you a glass of water with four thousand poisons in it would you drink it?
So why suck it into your lungs?
Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking in Ipswich
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. It has a purpose. However, it could be a problem if you find it difficult to keep it under control. You can learn to control your anger, and you should: anger directed towards a job not done, or a promise broken, is understandable, sometimes anger will express truthfully how we are feeling – but it should never get out of control because it leads to bad or unintended consequences such as a loss of trust or even a relationship. Worst is when it is used as a means of control of others which is not only unfair but also can be the worst form of domination. Anger can be a useful way to blow off steam but should not lead to harm of others – unless in the rare event that we are actually under physical attack.
Everybody has a physical reaction to anger: But you should be aware of what your body is telling you, and take steps to calm yourself down, because it will generally lead to a better outcome.
Your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly, preparing you for action. This is based in the fight or flight mechanism. When we were Hunter Gatherers or Farmers many millennia ago we became hard wired to either fight an adversary or run away. We would pump adrenaline and lash out or run as fast as possible.
An angry response may also be rooted in past behaviour. If losing your temper got you out of trouble in the past, or you “got your way” as a child or teen, then it might have seemed like a successful strategy.
You could also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or clenching your fists. If you notice these signs, then you need to get out of the situation if you have a history of losing control.
Count to 10 .. slow breathing down .. and learn how to anchor a calm state
Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down, so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out. Anchoring calm enables you to slow down and think.
Breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and relax as you breathe out. You automatically breathe in more than out when you’re feeling angry, and the trick is to breathe out more than in. Anchor your calm state. This is something you can learn to do. This retrains you to be calmer. This will calm you down effectively, and help you think more clearly. Your adrenaline will stop pumping. You will learn that being calm gets better results.
If you lose your temper there will be many times when you do or say something you regret. It will often lead to unfortunate consequences: Relationships break down, trust is lost, at worst – you could end up in legal trouble.
Most people regret who they become when they are angry and may feel that they: “cannot help it.” However they can and should for their own sake and those around them – there is really no excuse for lashing out verbally or physically when there are better ways to handle the matter.
Once you can recognise that you’re getting angry, and can calm yourself down, you can start looking at ways to control your anger more generally.
Bring down your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are just a few activities that can reduce stress. Exercise as part of your daily life is a good way to get rid of irritation and anger.
Practicing self hypnosis will help you train yourself to be mindful and calm and learn how to deal with the issue in the best way rather than the worst way – lashing out.
Make time to relax regularly, and ensure that you get enough sleep. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems worse. Consider asking for help with managing alcohol and drugs. They tend to lower inhibitions and, actually, we need inhibitions to stop us acting unacceptably when we’re angry. Learning self hypnosis is a great way to relax.
Writing, making music, dancing or painting or enjoying a sport can help release tension and reduce feelings of anger. Finding a new project or hobby. Perhaps you once wanted to explore photography or learn a language or write a local history. Many a client has gone on to find a new, enjoyable, and even profitable avenue to explore. Extending skills also makes you more employable. Some clients have set up one person businesses. Channeling energy into something new.
Maybe you want to master a sport more fully or channel any aggression productively.
Perhaps you could join a rambling group and walk for miles, or a book club, and make new friends?
There are many classes available to channel energy.
Discussing your feelings with a friend, or a Professional Hypnotherapist, can be useful and can help you get a different perspective on the situation. Many people go through similar situations but you might find that they are much better at resolving them than you. Borrow their experience.
I can help you change unhelpful ways of thinking. Thoughts and projections such as: ‘It’s unfair,’ or ‘People like that shouldn’t be on the roads,’ will just make anger worse.
Learning to change your thought processes like this will keep you focused on whatever it is that is triggering your anger. When you are mindful of this, and let these unhelpful thoughts go, it will be easier to calm down. You will find that these new ways of thinking and behaving work much more satisfactorily than the old ways. Life is a long process of learning where we should take the lessons from failure and experience and not repeat what has failed!
always (for example, “You always do that.”)
never (“You never listen to me.”)
should or shouldn’t (“You should do what I want,” or “You
shouldn’t be on the roads.”)
must or mustn’t (“I must be on time,” or “I mustn’t be late.”)
ought or oughtn’t (“People ought to get out of my way.”)
not fair (“It’s not fair – why should they …)
Sometimes when people talk about “anger” what they actually mean is aggression, says Dr James Woollard, a consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist. “Often when people experience or appear to show anger, it’s because they are also feeling fear or perceive a threat, and they are responding with a ‘fight’ response to this.” “Asking yourself, ‘What might I be scared of?’ can give you a different set of choices about how to respond,” says Dr Woollard. “You might be angry that something has not gone your way. But you may also be scared that you might be blamed or hurt as result. Recognising this might allow you to think and act differently.”
“Managing your anger is as much about managing your happiness and contentment as your anger,” adds Dr Woollard. “It should be a part of developing your emotional intelligence and resilience.”
If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence (violence or threatening behaviour within the home), there are places that offer help and support. You can talk to your GP or contact domestic violence organisations such as Refuge, Women’s Aid or the Alternatives to Violence Project. Read about getting help for domestic abuse.
If you feel you need help dealing with your anger, I can help you to learn how to handle your anger, understand why you get angry, and deal with any past issues that may trigger the angry response.
A typical anger management programme involves one-to-one counselling and working together to find the best strategies for YOU. The programme is usually three ninety minute sessions. In some cases, however, it may be over a couple of months.
I offer a free assessment and then you can decide for yourself.
Call or Text: 07875720623
Graham Howes Advanced Hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner for Anger Management in Ipswich Suffolk