Anger Management with Advanced Hypnotherapy and NLP in Ipswich Suffolk
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. However, it could be problematic if you find it difficult to keep it under control.
You can control your anger, and you should: anger directed towards a job not done or a promise broken is understandable, sometimes anger will express truthfully how we are feeling – but it should never get out of control because it leads to bad or unintended consequences such as a loss of trust or even a relationship. Worst is when it is used as a means of control of others which is not only unfair but also can be the worst form of domination.
Anger can be a useful way to blow off steam but should not lead to harm of others – unless in the rare event that we are under physical attack.
Dealing with your Anger
Everybody has a physical reaction to anger: But you should be aware of what your body is telling you, and take steps to calm yourself down, because it will lead to a better outcome.
Learn to recognise your anger signs
Your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly, preparing you for action. This is based in the fight or flight mechanism. When we were Hunter Gatherers or Farmers many millennia ago we became hard wired to fight an adversary or run away. We would pump adrenaline and lash out or run as fast as possible.
An angry response may also be rooted in past behaviour. If losing your temper got you out of trouble in the past, or you “got your way” as a child or teen, then it might seem like a successful strategy.
You could also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or clenching your fists. If you notice these signs, you need to get out of the situation if you have a history of losing control.
Count to 10 slow breathing down and learn how to anchor a calm state
Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down, so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out.
Breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and relax as you breathe out. You automatically breathe in more than out when you’re feeling angry, and the trick is to breathe out more than in. Anchor your calm state. This is something you learn to do. This retrains you to be calmer. This will calm you down effectively and help you think more clearly. Your adrenaline will stop pumping. You will learn that being calm gets better results.
If you lose your temper there will be many times when you do or say something you regret. It will often lead to unfortunate consequences: Relationships break down, trust is lost, at worst – you could end up in legal trouble.
Most people regret who they become when they are angry and may feel that they: “cannot help it.” However they can and should for their own sake and those around them – there is really no excuse for lashing out verbally or physically when there are better ways to handle the matter.
Managing anger long term
Once you can recognise that you’re getting angry, and can calm yourself down, you can start looking at ways to control your anger more generally.
Exercise helps with anger
Bring down your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are just a few activities that can reduce stress. Exercise as part of your daily life is a great way to get rid of irritation and anger. If you love sports you could even improve your skill level. Ask me how!
Practicing self hypnosis will help you train yourself to be mindful and calm and learn how to deal with the issue in the best way rather than the worst way – lashing out.
Looking after yourself may keep you calm
Make time to relax regularly, and ensure that you get enough sleep. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems worse. Consider asking for help with managing alcohol and drugs. They tend to lower inhibitions and, actually, we need inhibitions to stop us acting unacceptably when we’re angry. Learning self hypnosis is a great way to relax.
Getting creative and Learning new things
Writing, making music, dancing or painting can help release tension and reduce feelings of anger. Finding a new project or hobby. Perhaps you once wanted to explore photography or learn a language or write a local history. Many a client has gone on to find a new, enjoyable, and even profitable avenue to explore. Extending skills also makes you more employable. Some clients have set up one person businesses. Channeling energy into something new.
Maybe you want to master a sport more fully or channel any aggression productively.
Perhaps you could join a rambling group and walk for miles, or a book club, and make new friends?
There are many classes available to channel energy.
Talking about how you feel
Discussing your feelings with a friend or a Professional Hypnotherapist can be useful and can help you get a different perspective on the situation. Many people go through similar situations but you might find that they are much better at resolving them than you. Borrow their experience.
Let go of angry thoughts
I can help you change unhelpful ways of thinking. Thoughts and projections such as: ‘It’s unfair,’ or ‘People like that shouldn’t be on the roads,’ will just make anger worse.
Learning to change your thought processes like this will keep you focused on whatever it is that triggers your anger. When you are mindful of this and let these unhelpful thoughts go it will be easier to calm down. You will find that these new ways of thinking and behaving work much more satisfactorily than the old ways. Life is a long process of learning where we should take the lessons from failure and experience and not repeat what has failed!
Try to avoid using phrases that include:
always (for example, “You always do that.”)
never (“You never listen to me.”)
should or shouldn’t (“You should do what I want,” or “You
shouldn’t be on the roads.”)
must or mustn’t (“I must be on time,” or “I mustn’t be late.”)
ought or oughtn’t (“People ought to get out of my way.”)
Anxiety, Fear and Anger
Sometimes when people talk about “anger” what they actually mean is aggression, Often when people experience or appear to show anger, it’s because they are also feel fear or perceive a threat, and they are responding with a ‘fight’ response to this.
Ask yourself honestly, ‘What might I be scared of or panicky fearful of or anxious about? This can give you a different set of choices about how to respond. Recocognising the things that make you panic or get anxious means that you can evolve e a strategy to deal with them. The Buddha said many years ago: “Fear is the Mind Killer.”
You might feel anger that something has not gone your way. But you may also be fearful of being blamed or hurt as a result. Recognising this might allow you to think and act differently.
Read more on how to manage your anxiety.
Managing your anger is as much about mindfully managing your happiness and contentment as much as your anger. This should all be a part of developing your emotional intelligence and resilience.
Domestic violence and anger
If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence (violence or threatening behaviour within the home), there are places that offer help and support. You can talk to your GP or contact domestic violence organisations such as Refuge, Women’s Aid or the Alternatives to Violence Project.
Read here about getting help for domestic abuse.
Getting help with anger
If you feel you need help dealing with your anger, I can help you to learn how to handle your anger, understand why you get angry, and deal with any past issues that may trigger the angry response. Talk to me for FREE.
Anger management programmes
A typical anger management programme with me involves one-to-one counselling and working together to find the best strategies for YOU. The programme is usually three ninety minute sessions. In some cases, however, it may be over a couple of months.
I offer a free assessment and then you can decide for yourself.
Call or Text: 07875720623
More on Anger and being angry:
Anger can be very damaging and not just to relationships or peace of mind. Chronic anger is the biggest predictor of death through heart disease – even bigger than smoking! It could be said to be a negative trance state. Imagination can be productive – but in the case of worry, jealousy, pessimism, negative thinking and negative projections – it can create problems.
Stanford Medical School studied patients with anger issues; They were asked to recall times when they had been angry. Although the recalled state was reported as half the intensity of the original, their hearts started pumping 5% less efficiently on average. Cardiologists actually consider a 7% drop in pumping efficiency as serious enough to cause a heart attack.
Imagination and recall access the same parts of the brain. Angry feelings can be generated by imagining that you are angry, or recalling past anger. Anger creates very real physical changes. We use the imagination to train the brain to utilise the anger constructively and stop anger being triggered too often or too easily.