Anger Management with Advanced Hypnotherapy and NLP in Ipswich Suffolk
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. It has a purpose. However, it could be a problem if you find it difficult to keep it under control. You can learn to control your anger, and you should: anger directed towards a job not done, or a promise broken, is understandable, sometimes anger will express truthfully how we are feeling – but it should never get out of control because it leads to bad or unintended consequences such as a loss of trust or even a relationship. Worst is when it is used as a means of control of others which is not only unfair but also can be the worst form of domination. Anger can be a useful way to blow off steam but should not lead to harm of others – unless in the rare event that we are actually under physical attack.
Dealing with your Anger
Everybody has a physical reaction to anger: But you should be aware of what your body is telling you, and take steps to calm yourself down, because it will generally lead to a better outcome.
Learn to recognise your anger signs
Your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly, preparing you for action. This is based in the fight or flight mechanism. When we were Hunter Gatherers or Farmers many millennia ago we became hard wired to either fight an adversary or run away. We would pump adrenaline and lash out or run as fast as possible.
An angry response may also be rooted in past behaviour. If losing your temper got you out of trouble in the past, or you “got your way” as a child or teen, then it might have seemed like a successful strategy.
You could also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or clenching your fists. If you notice these signs, then you need to get out of the situation if you have a history of losing control.
Count to 10 .. slow breathing down .. and learn how to anchor a calm state
Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down, so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out. Anchoring calm enables you to slow down and think.
Breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and relax as you breathe out. You automatically breathe in more than out when you’re feeling angry, and the trick is to breathe out more than in. Anchor your calm state. This is something you can learn to do. This retrains you to be calmer. This will calm you down effectively, and help you think more clearly. Your adrenaline will stop pumping. You will learn that being calm gets better results.
If you lose your temper there will be many times when you do or say something you regret. It will often lead to unfortunate consequences: Relationships break down, trust is lost, at worst – you could end up in legal trouble.
Most people regret who they become when they are angry and may feel that they: “cannot help it.” However they can and should for their own sake and those around them – there is really no excuse for lashing out verbally or physically when there are better ways to handle the matter.
Managing anger long term
Once you can recognise that you’re getting angry, and can calm yourself down, you can start looking at ways to control your anger more generally.
Exercise helps with anger
Bring down your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are just a few activities that can reduce stress. Exercise as part of your daily life is a good way to get rid of irritation and anger.
Practicing self hypnosis will help you train yourself to be mindful and calm and learn how to deal with the issue in the best way rather than the worst way – lashing out.
Looking after yourself may keep you calm
Make time to relax regularly, and ensure that you get enough sleep. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems worse. Consider asking for help with managing alcohol and drugs. They tend to lower inhibitions and, actually, we need inhibitions to stop us acting unacceptably when we’re angry. Learning self hypnosis is a great way to relax.
Getting creative and Learning new things
Writing, making music, dancing or painting or enjoying a sport can help release tension and reduce feelings of anger. Finding a new project or hobby. Perhaps you once wanted to explore photography or learn a language or write a local history. Many a client has gone on to find a new, enjoyable, and even profitable avenue to explore. Extending skills also makes you more employable. Some clients have set up one person businesses. Channeling energy into something new.
Maybe you want to master a sport more fully or channel any aggression productively.
Perhaps you could join a rambling group and walk for miles, or a book club, and make new friends?
There are many classes available to channel energy.
Talking about how you feel
Discussing your feelings with a friend, or a Professional Hypnotherapist, can be useful and can help you get a different perspective on the situation. Many people go through similar situations but you might find that they are much better at resolving them than you. Borrow their experience.
Let go of angry thoughts
I can help you change unhelpful ways of thinking. Thoughts and projections such as: ‘It’s unfair,’ or ‘People like that shouldn’t be on the roads,’ will just make anger worse.
Learning to change your thought processes like this will keep you focused on whatever it is that is triggering your anger. When you are mindful of this, and let these unhelpful thoughts go, it will be easier to calm down. You will find that these new ways of thinking and behaving work much more satisfactorily than the old ways. Life is a long process of learning where we should take the lessons from failure and experience and not repeat what has failed!
Try to avoid using phrases that include:
always (for example, “You always do that.”)
never (“You never listen to me.”)
should or shouldn’t (“You should do what I want,” or “You
shouldn’t be on the roads.”)
must or mustn’t (“I must be on time,” or “I mustn’t be late.”)
ought or oughtn’t (“People ought to get out of my way.”)
not fair (“It’s not fair – why should they …)
Anxiety, Fear and Anger
Sometimes when people talk about “anger” what they actually mean is aggression, says Dr James Woollard, a consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist. “Often when people experience or appear to show anger, it’s because they are also feeling fear or perceive a threat, and they are responding with a ‘fight’ response to this.” “Asking yourself, ‘What might I be scared of?’ can give you a different set of choices about how to respond,” says Dr Woollard. “You might be angry that something has not gone your way. But you may also be scared that you might be blamed or hurt as result. Recognising this might allow you to think and act differently.”
Read more on how to manage your anxiety.
“Managing your anger is as much about managing your happiness and contentment as your anger,” adds Dr Woollard. “It should be a part of developing your emotional intelligence and resilience.”
Domestic Violence and Anger
If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence (violence or threatening behaviour within the home), there are places that offer help and support. You can talk to your GP or contact domestic violence organisations such as Refuge, Women’s Aid or the Alternatives to Violence Project. Read about getting help for domestic abuse.
Getting help with anger
If you feel you need help dealing with your anger, I can help you to learn how to handle your anger, understand why you get angry, and deal with any past issues that may trigger the angry response.
Anger management programmes
A typical anger management programme involves one-to-one counselling and working together to find the best strategies for YOU. The programme is usually three ninety minute sessions. In some cases, however, it may be over a couple of months.
I offer a free assessment and then you can decide for yourself.
Call or Text: 07875720623
Graham Howes Advanced Hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner for Anger Management in Ipswich Suffolk