Treating Erectile Dysfunction ED and Anorgasmia

Treatment for Erectile Dysfunction ED and Anorgasmia and Sexual difficulties

Erectile Dysfunction or ED

Erectile Dysfunction is the inability to achieve, or alternatively to maintain, an erection.

This is sometimes linked with the inability to orgasm called Anorgasmia.

Sometimes this is because of physiological reasons such as too much alcohol so called “Brewers droop”. As Falstaff in Shakespeare says: “It provokes the desire but takes away the performance!”

Medication, drug use, smoking, heart disease, diabetes or surgery can also affect the ability to achieve or maintain an erection or achieve orgasm.

Those are the physical reasons. 

Then there are the psychological issues which are just as powerful:

Psychological causes of Erectile Dysfunction or Anorgasmia

Many psychological factors play a role in the ability to orgasm – including:

Mental health problems, typically Anxiety or Depression.

One in three of us have Mental Health issues at some time in our Life. Many people pay more attention to their physical health and nutrition than they do to their mental health. Mental wellness is just as important as physical wellbeing. Learning to be mindful helps you deal with stress, anxiety depression. The self medication associated with mental distress or discomfort  often leads to weight gain or using drugs or smoking or abuse of alcohol which can lead to knock on effects such as ED. Smoking has been shown to be a contributory factor in erectile dysfunction. Drugs and alcohol have been long known to affect performance.

Hypnosis and NLP combined can help deal with the source of the problem and the cravings and habits that evolve to cope with the issue.

Poor body image / obesity

Weight issues have a physical effect on the body. Eating junk food can lead to depression and anxiety. There are known issues with too much fat, for instance, impacting the ability of the blood to adequately supply the organs including the penis.

Body Dysmorphia Dysfunction (BDD) or poor body image can lead to a lack of confidence in our appearance and a reluctance to be naked wit another person.

Stress and financial pressures

Stress and financial pressures leads to worry and anxiety which impacts the ability to be sexually confident.

Cultural and religious beliefs

A Doctor friend dealing with a couple’s inability to achieve pregnancy noticed bruising around their belly buttons. Both were as it turned out still virgins because they had been told that babies were made by “rubbing belly buttons together.”

This may seem beyond belief but some people still come from sheltered backgrounds.

Some Beliefs can impact what is considered “normal.” For example: The notion that sex is ONLY for procreation could lead to a sense of guilt.

Fear of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections

There is a lot of legitimate concern about unprotected sex leading to an STI or pregnancy even in monogamous relationships. Using condoms can lead to a decrease in sensitivity possibly leading to a loss of erection. These factors too can impact sex life.


Shyness of lack of confidence can lead to embarrassment – so for instance a demand that the light be turned off prior to making love. This removes one aspect of sexual enjoyment because sex is partly visual as well as physical and aural.

Guilt about enjoying sex – a couple I treated had been “caught” when a very young couple and feared getting caught again – so sex had become a rushed and furtive affair.

Past sexual or emotional abuse or Psychological trauma

Sexual abuse, Physical and Domestic abuse, or trauma, even PTSD, can affect negatively an individual’s ability to trust and give themselves over to making love.

Relationship issues

Unresolved issues such as lack of trust or fundamental disagreements will affect such an intimate time.

Many couples who have problems outside of the bedroom also experience problems in the bedroom.

All encompassing issues might include:

Lack of connection with your partner

Unresolved conflicts

Poor communication of sexual needs and preferences

Infidelity or breach of trust

Intimate partner violence

Relationship Boredom – getting stuck in a ritual of a procedure of making love instead of being in the moment and aiming to pleasure the other partner. Perhaps over the long term love making has become stale,


Anorgasmia affects both Men and Women – despite adequate sexual stimulation the person is unable to achieve orgasm / a climax. 10% of men might be affected but the majority are Women who may have NEVER had an orgasm or find it difficult to achieve one.

What is an orgasm?

An orgasm is a feeling of intense physical and mental pleasure and release of tension, accompanied by involuntary, rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. But it doesn’t always look — or sound — like it does in the films. The earth shaking orgasm is not as common as the magazines or media would have us think!

However a really satisfactory love life can be achieved with training or dealing with the issues with a trained Hypnotherapist using hypnosis and NLP.

What is Anorgasmia?

Anorgasmia is the medical term for regular difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, causing you personal distress. Anorgasmia is a common occurrence, affecting a significant number of women but also men.

Orgasms vary in intensity, and women vary in the frequency of orgasms and the amount of stimulation required to trigger an orgasm. Actually, most women don’t consistently have orgasms with vaginal penetration alone. Foreplay and sexual stimulation outside of penetration are often required. Orgasms can often change with age, medical issues or medications you’re taking.

What can I do?

If you’re happy with the climax of your sexual activities, there’s little need for concern.

However, if you’re bothered by either the complete lack of orgasm, or the intensity of your orgasms, initially talk to your doctor about the physical effects on Anorgasmia or Erectile Dysfunction.

I can help with the psychological dimension. A high percentage of the time it is largely psychological but you should ensure with a medical professional that there isn’t an underlying physical problem.

I will work with you in a complementary way to the Medical Professional, to resolve the psychological challenges.

Lifestyle changes and Hypnotherapy can help with ED and Anorgasmia.

30% of the population suffer from ED or Anorgasmia at some time.

70% of men suffer ED at some point in life.

Male Orgasm

Statistics vary on the extent of the problem of anorgasmia in men, but approximately 10 percent of men report problems with orgasms. 70% will suffer ED at some point in life connected with psychological issues or physiological ones.

For some men, the disorder presents itself in terms of an inability to reach climax only during sexual intercourse. They may find that when masturbating they can still achieve orgasm. In such cases, it is often possible for orgasm to be reached, but only after prolonged and intense non-intercourse stimulation.

Primary anorgasmia is the term used for men who have never experienced an orgasm, while secondary anorgasmia identifies men who have experienced an orgasm in the past but are now unable to reach orgasm.

Psychological Causes

It is estimated that around 90 percent of anorgasmia problems are related to psychological issues. Surveys point to performance anxiety as the number one psychological problem.

Performance anxiety in this context is not necessarily related to “staying power,” or duration of intercourse, but may relate more to attempts to “will” a state of sexual arousal, which in turn leads to a cycle of increasing anxiety. A man may be able to achieve an erect penis but be unable to sustain the erection. Sexual activity with a partner can take on a sense of being a chore, which increases guilt and distress.

Other psychological problems, such as stress, anxiety, depression, or lack of confidence, can be helped with a hypnotherapist. Other causes may be rooted in the development of negative attitudes towards sex, sometimes from childhood. There is also a relationship between anorgasmia and childhood and adult sexual abuse or rape. Again Hypnosis and NLP can help with that.

Marital strife and boredom within a relationship coupled with a perception of a monotonous sex life are also known psychological contributory factors.

Female Orgasm

The way an orgasm feels varies from woman to woman, and and in an individual woman, it even differs from orgasm to orgasm.

The major symptoms of anorgasmia are inability to experience orgasm or long delays in reaching orgasm. But there are different types of anorgasmia:

Lifelong anorgasmia. This means you’ve never experienced an orgasm.

Acquired anorgasmia: You used to have orgasms, but now experience difficulty reaching climax.

Situational anorgasmia: You are able to orgasm only during certain circumstances, such as during oral sex or with a certain partner. You may only reach orgasm through masturbation. Most women actually can’t reach orgasm through vaginal penetration alone – so physical stimulation of the clitoris is also necessary.

Generalised anorgasmia: You aren’t able to orgasm in any situation or with any partner.

Despite what you see in the media, orgasm is no simple, sure thing. This pleasurable peak is actually a complex reaction to many physical, emotional and psychological factors. If you’re experiencing trouble in any of these areas, it often affects your ability to orgasm. If you aren’t emotionally committed to a person and in a relationship the orgasm will have a different quality.

Physical causes of anorgasmia

A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can interfere with orgasm:

Medical diseases. Any illness can affect this part of the human sexual response cycle, including diabetes and neurological diseases, such as multiple sclerosis.

Gynecological issues. Orgasm may be affected by gynecologic surgeries, such as hysterectomy or cancer surgeries. In addition, lack of orgasm often goes hand in hand with other sexual concerns, such as vaginal dryness in menopause, cystitis or uncomfortable or painful intercourse.

Medications. Many prescription and over-the-counter medications can interfere with orgasm, including blood pressure medications, antihistamines and antidepressants — particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

Alcohol and smoking. Too much alcohol can cramp your ability to climax; the same is true of smoking, which can limit blood flow.

The ageing process. As you age, normal changes in your anatomy, hormones, neurological system and circulatory system often affect your sexuality. A tapering of oestrogen levels during the transition to menopause can decrease blood flow to the vagina and clitoris, which can delay or stop orgasm entirely. Vaginal dryness can make intercourse painful.

If you’re experiencing difficulty reaching orgasm, it can be frustrating for you and your partner. Plus, concentrating on climax can make the problem worse.

Most couples aren’t experiencing the headboard-banging, earth-shaking sex that appears on TV and in the movies. So try to reframe your expectations. You could focus on mutual pleasure, from moment to moment, instead of making the orgasm the be all and end all. You may find that a sustained pleasure plateau is just as satisfying as orgasm.

How Hypnotherapy and NLP helps with ED and Anorgasmia:

We can look at your individual psychological and sexual issues and reframe them and help you reconnect with your sensual self.

If you have had a time in your life when you were enjoying a happy and successful sex life we can reconnect with that.

We can teach the unconscious those things it doesn’t know.

We can deal with underlying issues such as fear, depression, or anxiety, trauma or lack of confidence.

We can start to see ourselves as a sexual being again with the capability of gaining and sustain an erection and achieving climax.

We can practice Pelvic Floor Exercises – 6 second contractions with feet turned in to each other and then turned out. 6 repeats of that. Then hold a contraction for 20 seconds.

Perfect your technique. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for three seconds, and then relax for three seconds. Try it a few times in a row. When your muscles get stronger, try doing Kegel exercises while sitting, standing or walking.


Graham Howes Hypnotherapist for Sexual Dysfunction in Ipswich Suffolk

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